


A Stupid Idea Is Always Stupid

by 8ami



Series: Garrett & Cal [8]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Boys Are Dumb, Cal likes kissing him, Cal's pov, Canon Bisexual Character, Garrett is a nice guy and needs to stop, M/M, POV First Person, Pan!Garrett, Pansexual Character, Post Make Up, Secret Relationship, That isn't a relationship, adorable boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 04:39:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16468937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8ami/pseuds/8ami
Summary: Garrett stopped by to apologize, to clear the air and Cal's forgiving him despite still being hurt. After the movies which isn't a date because it can't be, but totally should be, Cal is left sorting through his head while sitting in Garrett's truck with the athlete.





	A Stupid Idea Is Always Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> Bam! Got this out before the end of the month!  
> It's more of Cal's POV and it takes place right after 'A Stupid Idea Isn't Always Stupid'.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this and that this opens Cal a little more up to yall.  
> If yall enjoy his POV, I'll certainly work up some more plots for it.
> 
> Beta is the wonderful nymphstreet !!  
> Minor Edits 2/1/2019

**Monday, July 10th**

I'm sitting sideways in Garrett’s truck in the parking lot after the movie. He's turned to face me and has the leftover popcorn in his lap, idly picking at it as we talk to stall from going home. Mostly about the movie, carefully staying on safe ground, I guess.

It’s better this way, I think, wanting more, but I always want more from him.

“... so I’m just saying the end - they obviously aren’t dead. They’ll come back. But, the ones before that, how many of those do you think are actually dead?” Garrett asks, emphasizing the end of his statement with a handful of popcorn thrown into his mouth. He’s a little bit clumsy with it and a few pieces miss, falling down his chin and catching in his shirt. He fumbles to find them, sparing me a glance every now and then. Probably, to see if I’m answering him just as much as if I noticed his foul.

I smile at him, completely fond of him in this minute.

For all of the stereotypes of jock Garrett Laughlin falls into, there are certainly more things to him, and I have been pleasantly surprised to find that one of those things is just how adorable he is. He’s genuine and readable and wonderfully sweet. It’s caught me off guard the first few times.

Garrett would probably laugh if I told him I thought he was adorable and say something predictable like that he’s hot, not adorable. And yeah, the soccer player is certainly hot… ridiculously so, sometimes, to the point where I feel like I’m sinking under the heat that settles under my ribs more often than not. But other times, like right now, it’s difficult not to have that same space under my ribs swell with such light fondness I forget there are actually organs there in that space.

Taylor would just tell me I’m delusional and that I’m looking at Garrett with rose-colored glasses, trying to make sure I stay realistic about what I have with Garrett. Which is more than she thinks I have, less than what I want, and maybe all that Garrett can give?

At least, it’s what Garrett says is all he can give.

He looked like he was telling the truth, though.

I remind myself that not everyone is letting lies past their lips.

“Cal?” Garrett prompts again, worry burying itself into his eyes and coming out in his voice. I kinda wish he didn’t sound like he cared so much. It would make this easier. I wouldn’t think about how this could be so much more as often.

“Yeah?”

“I asked you about the movie - did you hear me? Uh, I mean… is everything okay?” Garrett is one of the few people I know that can actually talk over themselves - brought on by nerves and need this time around. I’d grab his hand if his fingers weren’t slick with popcorn butter if I was a little bit braver in this moment.  

I have to drop my gaze from his face, look elsewhere. I don’t know what to say. Instinct wants me to say everything is fine, but we both know we’re on uncertain ground.

He hadn’t been leading me on. Not purposely, at least. I was the one that got caught up in the attention and kisses and smiles and _him_. I don’t blame him for anything. It hurts to know this isn’t more. It hurts to know that that probably won’t change, no matter the reason - and it hurts to think about what Garrett's been dancing around, what I think the reason is, especially in relation to and for Garrett. It hurts to know I did this to myself. But it also feels really nice to have him come by. It was really nice to hear him say those things. It’s really nice to get to hold his hand again.

“Getting there.” I finally answer after a second of too much worry building in Garrett, showing up on his face and in his twitching fingers. He really isn’t one for hiding his feelings. I think he wears his feelings on his sleeve more than he thinks he does. I can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out the situation and what to do with it, do with me I suppose, all with this bite of worry and guilt and hope.

“I’m so - ”

I stop the apology I know is coming with a hard shake of my head. I don’t want him to be upset, to take anything onto his shoulders that doesn’t belong there, so I lean forward across the console of his truck. I pluck the bag of popcorn from his hands, setting it down on the floorboards of his truck. “Don’t apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong, Garrett.”

Garrett swallows, eyes dipping down to my lips before snapping back to my eyes. I smile a little at that, at him, because it feels good to know that he, of all people, wants to kiss me. And kissing is easier than asking for his hand to hold. “But I hurt you.” He ends up saying, eyes lingering on mine with a furrow building between them.

This whole thing would be easier if he was more of a dick, really.

I take one hand and brush my fingers along his cheek, “you’re not the first guy to do that. At least, you didn’t mean to.” I confess in order to get him to stop feeling bad. However, I’m a little too late, and the furrow pushes into existence regardless of my words. I try to smooth it out with my fingers since I couldn’t with my words.

Garrett opens his mouth to say something but can’t seem to find what he wants to say in that head of his. I wonder how much of a mess his thoughts are with all of this going on. I wonder how long he’s going to let things continue to be a mess.

“I think it was a good movie. And I think the ones at the beginning are dead the way any superhero is.” I answer his original question, finally recalling what it was, without moving away from him.

The worry swims away in his eyes, but I doubt it’s truly gone, as he processes my words sitting up a little straighter. “Yeah, okay. I’ll give you that one.” He tells me a little relief in his voice. His eyes drop down to my lips again and then away again.

Really. If he wasn’t such a good person, all this would be easier. If he wasn’t such a good person, I probably wouldn’t be so hung up on him like I am. It wouldn’t have hurt so much when he texted me those things I already knew. It wouldn’t hurt so much to be so close to him and have him try to respect my boundaries after knowing he hurt me with those things he texted.

“Garrett,” I say getting him to look back at me. He arches an eyebrow looking for the question I haven’t asked. “Are you going to kiss me or do I need to move closer for you to get the memo?”

His face lights up, a little red in his cheeks, but then he’s placing a hand on the back of my head drawing me into a kiss like he needs me to breathe, which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve thought today.

It’s easy to get lost in Garrett’s lips, to ask for more. I drag my tongue across his lips and he parts them, quickly allowing me access to his mouth. One of my arms wraps over his shoulder, pulling him closer to me over the console and his other hand finds my hip. Really, I could kiss him for days and still need more.

I have to break the kiss with a sharp pop when he makes this deep hum that hits me hard in order to stop myself from pulling at his shirt. Garrett chases after me, kissing me a few more quick, chaste times before we detach from each other.

“So I take it, we’re okay?” Garrett asks hesitantly smiling and lips wet. I laugh at him, rolling my eyes. I would say yes to him, even if we weren’t, with him looking like that. “Good, good. Cause… you know, I really do care about you and I know this situation is… is what it is.”

“It is what it is.” I agree because it’s a true goddamn statement, even if it tastes a little like a lie.

I’m thinking about kissing him again, getting lost in him rather in my head, when my phone vibrates. I lean back, pulling the device out of my pocket to see Taylor calling. I answer it the moment I register the ID out of habit.

“Taylor?” I answer settling back onto my side of the truck, looking low. Through my bangs, I can see Garrett watching me.

“Where are you?” She asks instead of greets. There’s a cut in her tone that’s all warm and sharp the same way a cut is. I know she’s probably just stopped by my house to find me not there. I don’t remember the last time Taylor actually asked to come over to my house. Sometimes she doesn’t even tell me she’s coming, a text saying she’s heading over, before knocking on my front door. And while I don’t have my license there’s only been a handful of times where I’ve texted her to come get me and she wasn’t able to.

I hesitate on the answer. Technically speaking, I’ve never told her it’s Garrett I’m hung up on, but she knows it’s someone and, more so, she does know it’s Garrett because she’s brilliant more often than she isn’t. Still, I can’t really tell her the truth even if she knows it. It's not my truth to tell.

“Cal?” Taylor repeats short and again I can hear that tone to her words. It’s all hot anger spurred by hurt.

“At the movies.” I finally answer. I don’t need to ask her what’s wrong. There’s only a handful of people in the world that can get Taylor so worked up to actually be hurt. Hot anger, cold anger, wet anger it’s all there when she’s distraught, when she’s up against something. Hurt, pain - the real kind that bites hard at the soul - she doesn’t do that very often, nor very well.

“I’m coming to pick you up. Wait outside.” She tells me and I’m nodding even though she can’t see me. She hangs up without a verbal confirmation and I take a deep breath.

I let the air run down to the very bottom of my lungs, expanding my rib cage as much as I can. Letting the air out feels like it’s coming from my toes, dragging things out that I’ve been holding onto, things I think I’ll need later but things I can’t name.

“Taylor’s going to pick me up from here.”

Garrett looks genuinely surprised at the news and almost like I kicked a puppy somehow with the words alone. “Oh, uh, okay. That’s no problem.” I realize he probably wanted to drive me home or maybe he just wants to make out some more now that we’re on good terms again. I don’t know if I’m being mocking with that thought or not and that alone makes me uncomfortable enough to be glad for Taylor's call.

“Yeah, it’s just - she’s upset.” I don’t give him more. It’s not my place. Just as I don’t officially tell Taylor anything about him, I’m not going to start talking about her business with people that aren’t her, with people that don’t know.

Garrett’s nodding before even speaks. “Yeah, no I understand that. She’s your friend.” And it kinda sounds like there should be more there. Maybe a question on if she’s really just my friend or if he counts as my friend? I’m glad he doesn’t ask. I don’t enjoy explaining my relationship with Taylor to people and I have no idea how to answer the second one.

I want to know how to answer the second one.

I let my fingers grip around the door handle, but then let my fingers slip from the metal to turn and steal a kiss from Garrett while I can. “Exactly. I’ll see you around.”

“Definitely.” And he sounds so very sure about that. I can’t help but smile.

This time when I grab the door handle, I actually use it and exit Garrett’s truck. One more look back at him, and then I hurry around to the front of the building in easy view of cars driving through the parking lot.

It’s good timing, because I can see Taylor’s car at the other end of the building, heading my way. Maybe, it’s not the best timing, actually, because she definitely just saw that I came from the side of the building, from the parking lot there. I hope she’s too distracted to really notice.

The moment I get into her car, I know she isn’t.

“I wouldn’t have happened to see a Someone-I-Can’t-Name’s truck pulling out just now would I?” I groan as an answer, and I can hear her huff as she focuses on the road. “Why do you do this to yourself, Cal?” To her credit, even as short as she sounds, it really just sounds like she’s worried about me.

I want to tell her about what Garrett said, about how we talked and that we’re okay right now. I want to tell her how hard it is not to kiss him and how he smiles, I want to tell her how it feels holding his hand. I want to tell her about how real he seemed when he came by. I want to tell her I believe him, that I want to believe him.

But I don’t, because she doesn’t really know, because I can’t really tell her.

“You think it’s because I’m naive, but I think it might be because I don’t really like myself much.” I try for bad humor, looking at her. She spares me a glance, making sure I see her roll her eyes amused and so certainly not.

We let it fall into a moment of silence as if to end one chapter before starting the next.

“Your parents or Benji?” I ask.

“Benji.” She’s crisp around the name of her on-again-off-again of two years boyfriend. I’ve never met two people that are so amazing together while always on the edge of killing each other. I think Taylor likes the dance of push-and-pulling over that line, makes it exciting and dramatic when there’s no need. For Benjamin, I think he can’t decide if he loves Taylor or is threatened by her, both are good for him, but he doesn’t do well switching between the two.

My relationships might be complicated, but they don’t hold a candle to Taylor’s relationship with Benji.

“He’s driving me crazy.”

“Isn’t he always?”

“Look at you being all jokes today.” She almost snaps.

I pull back my amusement, my idea that this is lighter than it apparently is. “What happened, Taylor?” I ask, my words slipping into something serious and soaked in worry.

“Boys are dumb.” Taylor sums up apparently struggling with more. It probably means they got into a fight that ended with a different one and neither of them knows how they went from point a to point b sanely. ‘It doesn’t make sense out of context’ she usually tells me. I’m never impressed with that answer, less so with her current one, however.

“I’m a boy.” I remind her.

Taylor just smiles at me like she wants to roll her eyes. “Exactly my point, Cal.”

“Taylor.” I chide, understanding what she’s getting at there.

She doesn’t respond right away, a second of needing to focus on driving where she takes a turn a little sharply. “Let’s just agree that we both make stupid decisions when it comes to our love lives and go to Olive Garden for the endless soup and breadsticks. I’m craving carbs.”

“Honestly, that sounds like a good plan.” The smiles we exchange aren’t the happiest, but joy is still there mixed in with everything else and I think that counts as a win.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween everyone! I love this holiday - it's pretty much the only one I celebrate. My yard is all spooked out and I'm dressing up as a Mad Scientist. 
> 
> Saying that the holiday season is certainly approaching. Along with the Parent Debacle, I'll prolly do some themed stories. Maybe some small shots to fill in the spaces between bigger stories I have planned but don't know when I'll get out so if you have any halloween, thanksgiving, or any winter holiday troupe yall would like to see just let me know and I'll try to work it in!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Oh! Also, I meant to share this with yall a while back, but I took a personality test (16 personalities.com) as the versions of Cal and Garrett that I have in my head and write for. I think the results really worked out well so if you guys wanted to read about those personalities traits to kinda get an idea of where I'm pulling from you can always go to that website. If you don't worry - I'll share some bits here.
> 
> Garrett got the Entertainer Personality or ESFP T which is Extrovert, Observant, Feeling, Prospecting and Turbulent.  
> Other people of this type is Jack from Titanic and Marilyn Monroe.  
> Good careers for them can be EMT, Physical Therapist Sales Rep.
> 
> Cal got the Advocate Personality or INFJ A which is Introvert, Intuitive, Feelings, Judgement, and Assertive.  
> Other people of this type is Rose from Titanic and Martin Luther King.  
> Good careers for them include Screenwriter, Author, Counselor, Nurse.
> 
> Jack and Rose guys. I'm amused if nothing else.


End file.
